G is for Great, here we go again ...
I think it is about time I focused on the `other half`, she either has a truly serious mental problem or is so totally wrapped up in herself and cannot see further than to `the end of her nose` - and a very pretty nose it is ! I am getting more and more annoyed, no not annoyed, more disappointed. Take a few days ago, her friends round for lunch and she told them, while I were there - am always invited, that she had a lovely time in the South of France, the mere fact that her friends didn't know that I was in the South of France with her ... in the whole conversation I was not mentioned ... rather says it all, or does it ? But I did manage to get in that I was there ! Then yesterday, I was doing my usual helping her renovate her home - two days of hard work to that point, still going strong with hanging some doors and glazing them. The ex-, yes ex-, rings up from ... South of France ... simply to ask how she was , they have no other contact whatsoever so it was simply a call `out of the blue`, folr no reason whatsoever. The question from the ex- must have been, " what are you doing ", her reply, " nothing really ... ", she could have said ` David and I are doing the glass doors ... `, but I wasn't mentioned. It was as though I wasn't there, no a word about me, no a comment. To her ex- she was alone .... and oh ! what I should also mention, he ex-, almost certainly, was with a girl friend in the South of France. So why did he call ? Simply he likes to keep everyone he knows on the proverbial `string`, friends and exs alike - he might need them, so what did I say, ` the only way you are going to get shot of him, if you want to, is to constantly tell him you are with me ... doing things `, so why I was not mentioned, again says it all. " What bigger mug you can have
than me ! "

So why am I bothering ... I don't know. I have told her that the only person I will not come between is her and her son, but even that's hard, he is a nice guy, but a total waste of space, he treats his mother like `dirt`, my next door neighbour asks me if he helps her with the new house, well of course he doesn't ! He has too much to do for himself, `Mother` what's that ! He lives in Dads house, free, has an income from his own property that makes my pension look like a `minimum wage`, so why does he need to help Mother - who, incidentally, is in the process of giving her `fortunes` to him - and he knows it, so why does he need to bother ! Jealous ? No not all all ... only when I am relegated to `third place` ... may even be lower in the list ... does make you annoyed, NOT because of the money, since money doesn't make relationships which I constantly tell her, relationships come from the heart ! But because he is simply being more and more spoilt .... and all that that goes with it !

Well by now you can see I am a little down ... probably because my son is finding it hard to live, but delightfully my daughter who had a similar problem, now seems to be getting out of her problems and all could be looking a little `rosy` for her. Why am I down ? In the early years I used to buy my girl - if I dare use that expression - small trinkets of my affection, not small to me though. They were stolen and out of some of the insurance money on our next holiday she bought some replacements, which, to this very day, some eighteeen months later she has never worn ... it would be nice if she had worn them and people said, `who gave that to you`, but obviously the trinkets, nor I, rate ... oh, I am miserable aren't I !

The trouble is, I have other `potential` girl friends who keep pestering me, wanting, I know, to be part of my regular life, but I keep fobbing them off, why ? Because this one I am trying to change, she has had a hard life and I am sorry for her - not the foundation for a relationship, sure, I know ! Will I succeed, I doubt it, she simply doesn't know what emotion is, she cannot shed a tear while watching an emotional film, she has a fixation about her son that is almost unhealthy - fondles him in front of the son's girl friend - how weird is that ? So for me, I may soon have to admit, and no matter how much I `love` her - and believe me she needs me - it is a `no, no` . But what she would do if I departed I really shudder to think ..... ! She has no self-esteem, no confidence and the word laughter I don't think she has yet found ... so what am I doing there ? G, for Goodness only knows.